^ I read this a couple of weeks ago and it has been on my mind a lot lately. I don't know how much validity it actually has, so take it for what it's worth, but some of the ideas have really been making me think. One of the things most people regret is spending too much time working and not enough time with their family. For those of you who have been to my house, you may think that it is small and even ghetto. Sometimes I agree, but what I care about more is the fact that we live so below our means, giving me the ability to be a stay at home mom no matter what happens to our financial circumstances. I would much rather live with a little less and be able to stay home and enjoy my daughter than have to work my butt off for a house I cant afford if we're not pulling in two large and steady incomes.
It breaks my heart to see my father, nearly 50, working every minute of every day hustling to keep up payments on his beautiful life. I am very proud of him for what he has accomplished and is able to provide for his family, but I wish I could show him this and he would care. My best memories with my father were when I was a child and he lived in a trailer in the mountains and we would watch Disney movies and play games while eating cereal in our underwear. Those were the good times, my warm and fuzzies, and they didn't cost a thing.
The main idea that wont stop repeating in my mind is "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." I am what I like to call a "non-confrontational person." This is a loose term to define the fact that I have the inability to say no or disappoint someone. I have so many faces that I put on to please different people in my life. One day I'm going to get too old and too tired to remember which face goes to whom. Don't get me wrong, I have many many interests and care deeply about many things so it's not that I'm lying when you're speaking with College Alyssa, Sales Alyssa or Stay at Home Mom Alyssa. My uncanny ability to be so many different people has really wasted a lot of my time in life trying to pursue degrees or run businesses that I think would please someone else.
Just throwing it out there for anyone who is interested... Yes, I do want a degree, probably either in nursing or physical therapy. Both require a lot of my time though, and being blessed with a very time consuming Riley 18 months ago, I feel like going to school right now isn't doing anyone any good. I'm going to take some years to nourish her and develop my family and then decide where I want to go. I will continue to live below my means, which really doesn't bother me, so that I can enjoy this lifestyle that I want. I will help my husband to grow his business in the meantime so that we have another means of income if the union fails us. Another uncanny ability of mine is pulling money out of my rear end on demand. I haven't let my family starve or the lights go off yet and I know that I never will.
I don't care what other people choose to do with their life. I don't see the point in having strong opinions about other's personal choices. Don't expect me to jump on your "I hate this group of people bandwagon." Live and let live. I really am going to put more effort into exfoliating my many faces down to who I really am and letting those around me get to know that person. I don't have the time or energy to pretend to be who you want me to be. Each year I live goes faster and faster and I refuse to regret on my death bed that I never lived a life for myself.
All of my friends: Live your life for you. I will live mine for me. I will only encourage and support your decisions and never criticize you. I ask that you do the same for me. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness. Live and let live. <3
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